(Source: blogconfession)

I dunno, I feel unhappy and much like crying nowadays. I think I’m at a bad point in my life, and that’s just not good. I feel like I should be happier and my time should be focused more into other things, but… I can’t find the energy to do so

I’m not really sure why I’m so stuck on this stupid issue, I mean it should not bother me, but the small things about it all have me hooked. I’m fascinated, head over heels, and a lot more but it’s just a confusing feeling because I should be over it, right? It shouldn’t be affecting me still the way it does. Which is bloody retarded, if I do say. You can’t feel for something that isn’t reciprocated because what exactly is the use? How dumb! I don’t even know the truth! That’s the worse part, and it pisses me off so much, because I’m the person who must know all of it, but I can’t. Even confronting it didn’t help because there was no straight forward answer nor anything. NOTHING. No time can go by like that to where I actually develop those feelings and such to then nothing. Nothing at all. I apologize for being a disappointment, I guess. And that seriously hurts.

I need to tell myself to fuck off.

I fell for a boy who doesn’t give a shit. Who has a girlfriend. Who I fucked around with WHILE he has a girlfriend. Who doesn’t know that I know he has a girlfriend.

And the bad part is that I don’t care that he has a girlfriend, because I’d still do the shit we did again and again. And that may be horribly wrong of me, but I just dunno.

And the bad part is that I don’t think he feels the same. I’m pretty sure he’s guilty for it, and he doesn’t talk to me much anymore.

Did I disappoint you? I mean, seriously. I thought I gave you what you wanted.

I’m fucking confused, dred. I probably disappointed you, and I’m sorry.